the art/science of conversation
Beginning to realise that my blog is becoming rather moribund and introspective, i shall try and be more sanguine but think of this as more of a consideration of some of the thoughts that enter my head rather than all of them.
In the pub last night i couldn't help but think about the difficulty of conversation. Weary that i would only know a couple of people at most i went with that in mind but came back acutely aware of how difficult conversation can be. I'm normally better when a group chat around me and i'll add stuff when i want to but direct conversation with new people is just plain difficult (i get thrown by the simplest, so what do you do? type questions) and it felt like everyone else there knew each other already. There a certain points in conversations where i can see that it'd be appropriate to try an include people in the discussion but i don't know how to, or i say something and realise instantly that i didn't mean what i said or phrased it very badly, i see people that you think i'd get on with but have no idea what to say...If there was a course, i'd sign up immediately. I'm actually happy if on meeting new people i able to interact with just one on some level (which happened last night so i didn't feel like too much of a failure). Also how do you end a conversation and move onto talking to someone else?
In the pub last night i couldn't help but think about the difficulty of conversation. Weary that i would only know a couple of people at most i went with that in mind but came back acutely aware of how difficult conversation can be. I'm normally better when a group chat around me and i'll add stuff when i want to but direct conversation with new people is just plain difficult (i get thrown by the simplest, so what do you do? type questions) and it felt like everyone else there knew each other already. There a certain points in conversations where i can see that it'd be appropriate to try an include people in the discussion but i don't know how to, or i say something and realise instantly that i didn't mean what i said or phrased it very badly, i see people that you think i'd get on with but have no idea what to say...If there was a course, i'd sign up immediately. I'm actually happy if on meeting new people i able to interact with just one on some level (which happened last night so i didn't feel like too much of a failure). Also how do you end a conversation and move onto talking to someone else?
posted by hugh at
1:29 PM
3 Comments:
it's all about bluffing, in my humble opinion. you try to read the situation and the kind of person you're talking to (by getting them to talk first), then access your (however limited) database of knowledge about that topic, and then bluff away. it's what i do, anyway.
hugh, you're great. i think it's cool the way you right on your blog what you're thinking. it's very refreshing. you may not enjoy conversation much, but you're definitely good at analysing and writing about them!
By
Abigail, at 2:10 PM
Yeah, I like your blog too; it's one of the more enjoyable ones.
I reckon it depends how much of a chamoeleon (sp. hmmm) you are; your ability to adjust yourself to different types of people. I used to be very affected by the mood of the person I was talking to, probably to an unhealthy level of negation of self, but now I think I realise that I am an adaptable person, which in turn, allows me the freedom to speak as myself, something which unfurls the older you you get. So I guess I'm gonna be a right cantankerous bugger when I'm sixty!
By
Pete, at 6:50 PM
take a leaf out of eddie izzards book, all you do is, sigh, take a breath in and say, "so anyway" and ask people if they like jam or something never fails to work.
By
Catherine, at 9:48 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home