you've got ten seconds to make me fall in love with you

Realised that yet again my posts have become a somewhat sombre tone of late but then that's what i've felt like recently so there.

At brunch yesterday Lol was talking about enneagrams (if you do a google search on it there are sites that offer free tests) which i remembered that my Mum had lent me a book on and so i went and took the test. Enneagrams put people into 9 personality groups based on a number of criteria. I came out to my dismay as an individualist (closely followed by an investigator which is the group i think most people who know me would put me in, me seeming fairly bookish and doing a PHd and all and was the one i think i was in when i did the test last time) who are: The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

So that means that when healthy i can be; Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. / Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong.

However, when unhealthy i can be; When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alAvoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic. alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. / Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. / Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.

I didn't really know how to respond to this since i hold little value in this sort of thing (Myers Briggs etc-INFJ) but this did seem to be fairly accurate and it seems to suggest that how i perceive myself isn't fully accurate. In response, advice for individualists is:
- Do not pay so much attention to your feelings
- Avoid putting off things until you are "in the right mood"
- Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them
- A wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to working regularly to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect
- Avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic

So a lot to think about there, maybe i'll get a book about it. Which reminds me i got a book on God and the Disney films by Mark Pinsky who wrote a cool book called the Gospel according to the Simpsons.

Something else to ponder: are coincidences by their very being random or is there no such thing? I'm increasingly thinking that there is no such thing as a random coincidence