venn community

Had a crazy day yeasterday- left the house at 6.20 and didn't return until 10- i fell asleep pretty soon after that. On such a basis i'm taking today a bit easier. One of the things that struck me /we got taught in my teacher training thing was the importance of reflecting. I became aware that i can avoid by doing other stuff this completely or if it's soemthing bad reflect on it to the point where it comes unhealthy wallowing. A story used to illustrate this was when you record a session at Maida Vale, they don't use digital so it takes twenty minutes to rewind the tape after the performance and the tech describes it as thinking time for the musicians to think about their performance and if they want to change anything. It also shattered the illusions of live sessions- apparently even the band-dj discussion is pre-recorded.

Also discovered i can get free acadamic books as inspection copies- i ordered three immediately!

On the train read a great feature in the Times on Microsoft job interview questions which included:
- You have eight billiard balls. One of them is defective meaning it weighs more than the others. Using a balance how can you tell which is defective in two weighings?
- Why are manhole covers round not sqaure?
- How are m and m's made?
- How many points are there on the globe where by walking 1 mile south, 1 mile east and 1 mile north you reach the place you started?

Also, the thought of Steven Gerrard is reducing me to near tears.

it's all in the execution

So for what it's worth, i've realised that i don't like Star Wars very much. It even put me off Natalie Portman (who admittedly has some painfully bad dialogue to deliver) and Ewan McGregor. I am developing a theory that it also stereo-types many of the nations in the world, for example, ia Tatooine meant to be Australia and McGregor represent England?

Also, think i need to work on my boundaries, my spatial awarensess is rubbish

57 Iranian monks

Hurray! I've done a draft of my work!

Hoorah! Arsenal won! Manchester United lost!

Yehah! I got three awesome albums from Record Collector (Stereolab best of- 3 discs and dvd with them on the Word and Later...with Jools Holland, Fourtet's new one- fantasticly warm electronica and Jose Gonzalez -Veneer about whom i know nowt but had a listen in the shop and it's beautiful acoustic Nick Drake/Kings of Convenience)

Boo! I got comedy soaked by a Land Rover driving past en route to get a paper this morning (so much so a random bloke commented on it) but it made me laugh.

French! People should be a little nicer to them (a thing on Have I got News for You said they were the most hated European nation). I actually like the nation- think of all the good they give us...

monday monday

Having one of those Mondays when the fact i did nothing but relax on the weekend has caught up with me so has felt rather frantic. So done load of washing, met up with a mate from Birmingham who has moved to Rotherham and gave him a tour, at my Mum and Dad's so sorting loads out here before they move (it's hard not to let their stress become mine too). Not even had time to do my food shop or the other assortment of jobs such as uni work! Aaargh.

my intentions towards you are honourable

Damn it, i really can't concentrate on the joys of memory work.

Lots of cds for me to buy soon:
-White Stripes (6th June)
-Magic Numbers (13th June)
-Rosin Murphy (13th June)
and my Camille album still hasn't shown up

Good word- Chromophobia (fear of colour) also the name of a film showing at Cannes

My reoccuring thought: How can Natalie Portman still look so attractive with no hair?

it makes me sick to think of you undressed

Got asked to house sit for my Mum and Dad which has meant i'm writing this looking at the fabulous view it offers which shall be lost when my parents depart. Haven't posted for the rest of the week as I've been hard at work meaning that I'm sick of writing and agonising over how to phrase things so the thought of posting hardly filled me with joy. Added to this i've been out every night which has been really good (such as dinner at Lol and Beth's on Tuesday and watching Opus 15 on Wednesday) but i'm looking forward to a relaxed Sunday. However, this is much dependent upon the result of the FA Cup final on Saturday.

Also, i've stolen seasons three and four of the West Wing off the folks so some high quality American entertianment shall be mine.

I think i'll sign off with a bit of my writing, well i say mine but it's a quote that i'm using:

“All writers are concerned with memory, since all writing is a remembrance of things past…memory is especially important to anyone who cares about change, for forgetting dooms us to repetition.” (Greene 1991)

i wish the world were flat like the old days

Seen a couple of films that have really affected me recently namely Downfall and Mean Creek which cover slightly different topics. Downfall is about the last few hours of Hitler's Germany before Berlin is taken by the Russians (who you never really see but are still a presence) and some scenes still haunt me, namely when Goebbel's wife kills her children with poison and the noise of the glass vials is just horrible. The other is after setting fire to Hitler and his wife's bodies, the Nazis do a salute until Russian bombs start descending at which point they scatter pathetically back to their bunker.

Mean Creek is about a kid who is being bullied at school and his big brother and his mates form a plot to get revenge on him. However, over the course of the film they come to take sympathy on the bully realising they are all as flawed as him in different ways. Most of the chracters have an apparent comfort with themselves but in actually fact all when tested sort of fail. Also unusally for this sort of film the final act actually satisfies and leaves you thinking, you know about stuff and junk.

Also if you haven't seen Sideways yet-have a word

so i could travel just by folding a map

Although i have very little reason to, my mood at the moment seems tinged with sadness. I think it may link to the realisation that there are a few things in my character that i seem unable to shake off. For example, i am still utterly petrified by spending time with people one on one and i don't really know why. The other day i bumped into someone in the supermarket and was completely thrown. After a somewhat awkward exchange i finished my shopping but then in the car park realised that i would bump into the person again given my walking pace and the fact i was fairly easy to spot. My response? I turned around and went back into the supermarket and waitng for a few minutes before walking home, racked with guilt. I think it maybe because i'm a fairly reactive person in the sense i need other people's information to work with or respond (making small groups great) to which can make conversation feel difficult particularly as i am trying to talk to people rather than perpetuate the cycle whereby i don't talk to someone as i assume that they aren't interested and this is percieved as me not being interested.

hello, is it me you're looking for?

A whole week without posting, gosh what have i become? Haven't sorted out an internet link in Hilllsborough yet due to me and my housemate living in the same house but in completely different spheres of time- she goes to work in the day then hangs around at home whilst i stay at home to work in the day and then go out. Trying hard to do some writing which is going ok.

Snippets of news:
-parents are going o the 2nd of June-weird.
-I'm falling apart- my knee and neck are causing distress at the moment so my posture is a little odd.

Maximum big up, peace out

leitmotif

i like that word

a nation decides

Watched the fantastic but very depressing The Seagul instead of the Champions League semi the other night which made me thoroughly depressed-it's all about how people look for love in the wrong places by longing for someone who doesn't love them whilst at the same being loved by someone they don't want to be loved by. Also has a fantastic opening line-
- "Why do you wear so much black?"
- "Because i'm in mourning for my life."

cherry trees

So the big move has occurred and it made me realise that i should probably get rid of a lot of stuff before i move again and that sleep is a truly wonderful thing (10 hours-hurrah!). Been really busy so i only had a chance to unpack mosty of my stuff this morning before i had to set of for an interview. The interview was right by the first house i ever lived in so it was really nice to walk around the old neighbourhood and visit my favourite conker tree etc...Found it strange though that i haven't really been to the area since i was very young and it made me think about how Sheffield is a collection of villages that i'm unsure how they relate and interact as they all seem to have distinctive feels and characters. I mean i've only got to know a lot of the city by friends moving into bits i'd only ever heard of!